I’ve heard the phrase, “kids say the darndest things” but actually – adults do.

How to Protect Your Baby in a Sexualized Society

One thing that I was not prepared for before becoming a mother and REALLY icks me out is when adults say things that sexualize children.

It happens more frequently than I’d like to admit.

A well-meaning stranger locks eyes with your baby (like the cashier at the grocery store last week) and says, “Oh, you’re such a little flirt!” or chuckles at your toddler, “He’s going to be a real heartbreaker!” (Yes, another mother shared this with me.)

Maybe someone even comments on your baby’s future appearance: “I’d hate to see what she looks like in 18 years.” (like the elderly gentleman sitting at the table by us at lunch recently).

Or the man who walked by my vehicle while I’m changing my babies diaper in the back and said, “Oh, how beautiful!”

Or the woman at the lake who saw my husband following my daughter through the grass and said, “Hmm she’s already leading men astray.”

These moments might seem harmless, but they reflect something deeper—how our society projects adult concepts onto babies and young children in ways that are actually inappropriate.

This is NOT okay.

As parents, our job is to protect our children—not just from obvious dangers, but from the subtle ways our culture blurs boundaries, normalizes the sexualization of kids, and desensitizes us to problematic comments.

And you know what’s messed up? In these moments – my go to is to freeze or fawn – and occasionally chuckle. Because, I too as a woman, have been sexualized since childhood (I recall my grandfather calling me sexy at 8 years of age) and assaulted both verbally and physically throughout my adult life.

I feel incredibly uncomfortable in these situations.

I wish I could say that in the moment, I speak what I actually want to say in response to inappropriate comments but I don’t. I think of what to say afterward and kick myself for not.

And because I am aware of this, I get to stand in my power and speak up from a place that sets a boundary with clarity and confidence. Rather than making it a confrontation or freezing due to fear/shame/disbelief. While also giving myself grace for my stress response.

Why Parents get to Speak Up Instead of Laugh it Off

These comments might seem innocent, but they teach children messages we don’t intend to send:

• That their body is something to be evaluated by others.

• That their interactions should be interpreted through a romantic or flirty lens.

• That their worth is tied to how they will be perceived in the future, rather than who they are now.

This also contributes to a broader culture that makes it harder for children to recognize when boundaries are being crossed.

If I normalize an adult making a comment about my daughters looks, “flirting,” or future attractiveness, it conditions her to accept similar comments (or actions) from others—even when they are not harmless.

How to Protect Your Child Without Fight, Flight, Freeze or Fawn

We don’t need to be aggressive, but we do need to be clear. So, I did a little digging as to how best to respond when faced with certain comments that aren’t welcomed.

Here’s how you can respond in the moment and advocate for your child in a way that keeps the focus on their safety and well-being.

1. Reframe the Comment - Instead of engaging with the idea that a baby or toddler is “flirting” or “breaking hearts,” redirect the focus:

• “She’s just enjoying the moment! Babies love connection.”

• “He’s going to be a great friend, not a heartbreaker.”

• “She’s a little explorer—so curious about everything!”

This shifts the conversation and models a different way to talk about children.

2. Set a Clear Boundary - If a comment makes you uncomfortable, it’s okay to say so.

• “I prefer we don’t talk about her that way.”

• “Let’s keep things child-appropriate—she’s just a baby.”

• “That’s an odd thing to say about a little one.”

Sometimes, directness is the best approach.

3. Educate Gently - Many people don’t realize what they’re saying. A little education can go a long way:

• “I know people say that as a joke, but I want her to grow up knowing she’s valued for more than how she looks.”

• “We’re working on teaching him that his body is his own, so we try to keep comments like that out of the conversation.”

• “We focus on who she is now rather than imagining her as a future adult.”

4. Model Respectful Language - We can’t control what others say, but we can control how we talk about our kids and encourage others to do the same.

• Focus on their personality, curiosity, strength, and intelligence instead of their looks.

• Avoid phrases like “She’s going to have all the boys chasing her” or “He’s a little ladies’ man” (even as a joke).

• Normalize saying, “She’s so thoughtful/kind/observant!” instead of always commenting on appearance.

Together, Let's Build a Culture of Safety and Empowerment

Advocating for children and setting boundaries isn’t about being rude or assuming the worst about people. Most of these comments come from a place of habit, not harm.

But cultural change starts with awareness—and as parents, we can play a role in shifting how we talk about kids.

By modeling respectful language, setting clear but kind boundaries, and reframing the conversation, we’re not just protecting our own children—we’re healing our own inner child while helping create a world where all kids are seen for who they truly are, not who society expects them to be.

Incase you needed to hear it -your child is not a flirt, your toddler is not a heartbreaker, and you don’t have to let adults make subtle or not so subtle sexual innuendos toward your children.

Let’s do our best to preserve our children’s innocence and advocate for them.

Let’s let kids be kids.